As some of you may be aware, the mayor of Toronto (Rob Ford) is being a whiny bitch about some photoshops of him circulating in a publication known as "Now".
Not only has he caught the public eye by being a hideous, disgusting, amorphous blob of a douchebag, he has also pulled the copies of this publication from boxes on city property because he can't take a little ribbing.
What an idiot.
Well, he can't stop the Internet - so go here, like, and add some content:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Photoshop-Rob-Ford-Because-He-Hates-It/175290305855539
While you're at it, go have some laughs over at http://www.blobford.com/ - your source for all the Rob Ford parody news you could possibly want.
More posts coming eventually.
Same with the music and shit.
Busy lately with many different projects, so the blog is suffering a bit, but I'll try to update as much as I can.
Stay tuned, kids.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Bitches don't know 'bout my "Lucky Charms"
It's St. Patrick's Day...a day about celebrating your Irish heritage (well, that's what it is now, anyway).
Being part Irish, I certainly live up to the stereotypes - I get drunk (not easily, though) & I like to fight. I have never been to Ireland, but I hear it's quite green and lush...and when I say "lush", I'm not talking about the natives, either.
I don't really have much else to say about this, so wear green, get pissed on green beer (doesn't have to be green - can be Guinness - or Jameson whiskey), and knock someone's teeth out today.
If you have time, do a jig, Riverdance, and guard your pot of gold while holding your clover high.
House Of Pain - Top O' The Morning To Ya
http://www.sendspace.com/file/l2jjw6
Being part Irish, I certainly live up to the stereotypes - I get drunk (not easily, though) & I like to fight. I have never been to Ireland, but I hear it's quite green and lush...and when I say "lush", I'm not talking about the natives, either.
I don't really have much else to say about this, so wear green, get pissed on green beer (doesn't have to be green - can be Guinness - or Jameson whiskey), and knock someone's teeth out today.
If you have time, do a jig, Riverdance, and guard your pot of gold while holding your clover high.
House Of Pain - Top O' The Morning To Ya
http://www.sendspace.com/file/l2jjw6
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Turning Japanese - no, wait...that's just the fallout...my bad
This whole "Japan nuclear crisis" thing is getting out of hand with the fear-mongering.
I have read several articles on the subject, and it seems to me that nobody really knows what the hell is going on - multiple explosions, dead people, possibility of fallout (or maybe not) - seems that we can't get a straight story out of anyone on this subject.
I've heard everything from "it's cool, man - don't worry", to "oh shit - fallout is going to hit North America and kill everyone" (which doesn't affect me personally, because I'm out of the proposed zones listed on that fake map). Even if it did affect me, I still probably wouldn't care too much - my motto has been: some things are just inevitable sometimes, so why even fight it.
I'm not hating on Japan, as they've been through enough - earthquake, tsunami, Godzilla/Mothra attacks, groping on overcrowded public transit, expensive toilet-paper, tentacle-rape, the repeated release of the "Pokemon" series - disastrous pandemonium everywhere you look over there.
If it turns out that this whole situation does blow up to apocalyptic proportions, you can be fairly sure that the U.S. will get involved, and go and attack Iran or something (because they must have something to do with all this, right?). This whole ordeal has the potential to scare the piss out of many gullible & naive individuals, unless people actually start reading everything they can to educate themselves, and get a better grasp of things - even then, the news that's being put out there about it varies greatly, so it's not like you'll ever get a clear story either way.
Take my advice, and don't even care until all of these stories decide to tell the same one...even if it's "too late" by then - at least you won't look like a paranoid fool.
Besides, tumors can be sexy.
By "sexy", I, of course, mean "not sexy in the least".
Possibly related (or not) tunage:
The Vapors - Turning Japanese
http://www.sendspace.com/file/j9verj
(yes, I realize it's mislabelled)
Yellow Magic Orchestra - Rydeen
http://www.sendspace.com/file/3i121s
Matthew Sweet - Superdeformed(Demo)
http://www.sendspace.com/file/rx2fpm
Front Line Assembly & Die Krupps - The Last Flood
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ttuucv
Nine Inch Nails - Burn
http://www.sendspace.com/file/l3no7o
I have read several articles on the subject, and it seems to me that nobody really knows what the hell is going on - multiple explosions, dead people, possibility of fallout (or maybe not) - seems that we can't get a straight story out of anyone on this subject.
I've heard everything from "it's cool, man - don't worry", to "oh shit - fallout is going to hit North America and kill everyone" (which doesn't affect me personally, because I'm out of the proposed zones listed on that fake map). Even if it did affect me, I still probably wouldn't care too much - my motto has been: some things are just inevitable sometimes, so why even fight it.
I'm not hating on Japan, as they've been through enough - earthquake, tsunami, Godzilla/Mothra attacks, groping on overcrowded public transit, expensive toilet-paper, tentacle-rape, the repeated release of the "Pokemon" series - disastrous pandemonium everywhere you look over there.
If it turns out that this whole situation does blow up to apocalyptic proportions, you can be fairly sure that the U.S. will get involved, and go and attack Iran or something (because they must have something to do with all this, right?). This whole ordeal has the potential to scare the piss out of many gullible & naive individuals, unless people actually start reading everything they can to educate themselves, and get a better grasp of things - even then, the news that's being put out there about it varies greatly, so it's not like you'll ever get a clear story either way.
Take my advice, and don't even care until all of these stories decide to tell the same one...even if it's "too late" by then - at least you won't look like a paranoid fool.
Besides, tumors can be sexy.
By "sexy", I, of course, mean "not sexy in the least".
Possibly related (or not) tunage:
The Vapors - Turning Japanese
http://www.sendspace.com/file/j9verj
(yes, I realize it's mislabelled)
Yellow Magic Orchestra - Rydeen
http://www.sendspace.com/file/3i121s
Matthew Sweet - Superdeformed(Demo)
http://www.sendspace.com/file/rx2fpm
Front Line Assembly & Die Krupps - The Last Flood
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ttuucv
Nine Inch Nails - Burn
http://www.sendspace.com/file/l3no7o
Sid Vicious - My Way
http://www.sendspace.com/file/h8yjyn
Monday, March 14, 2011
Alcohol-powered cur
A good friend of mine recently returned from a trip to Mexico.
He brought me back a bottle of Mezcal - which I have never had...
Mezcal, for those of you that don't know, is a lot like Tequila, only made from the agave cactus, which gives it a unique (not to mention orgasmically delicious) flavour.
After one shot, I noticed how smooth & delicious it was - it was like a thousand, big-breasted angels came explosive rainbows in my mouth, & it makes ordinary Tequila look like rancid urine in comparison. My friend had told me that he was informed that all you needed of this was 3 shots - I accepted that challenge (but worked up to it).
A couple of days later, me & another friend downed 2 shots apiece...it wasn't really enough to get a buzz off of.
A couple of days after that came the real test - I took 3 in quick succession of one another. Not feeling much more than a dim glow, I decided to continue on until I did.
6 shots (& 2 bowls of greenery) later, I found myself unconscious, but not before nature began mentally communicating with me - in all seriousness, shit was melting, which is fucking awesome for a liquor-related effect.
The next day, I chose to do it again, but took 7 shots and downed a 40oz of malt liquor on top of it.
I made a few phone calls, as I enjoy drunk-dialing (to friends who, it turns out, found my ranting to be humorous) and I once again found myself unconscious shortly afterwards.
"Mezcal" must be Spanish for "tasty, acid-like sleep-aid"...if it's not, it should be.
Apparently, I can be a right dick while alcohol works itself out of my system - not so much when I'm drunk, but more when I've been drinking the night before. Text-bombing a certain ex of mine with messages such as "so, when you two have sex, does it look like 2 pilates-balls being smashed together? You know - because you're both fat as fuck?" should be evidence of this (but I'm still willing to bet you laughed when you read it, you horrible fuckers).
At this point, I was left with the dilemma of how to get the following creatures of deliciousness out of the bottle, due to it having a pour-spout:
This problem has been solved by removing the pour-spout by cutting it away, therefore keeping the bottle intact.
I have yet to down these little bastards, but I will update this post with the review once I have - possibly even during the effects, so you can all have a good laugh (even though you're not supposed to post shit online when you're drunk, but like I give a fuck - and none of you comment anyway, even though it'd give me a reason to post more).
Now, in this country, it is quite difficult to find booze with the worm still in it, let alone 2, which makes this experience a serious treat.
I was told to down the worm without chewing, and to only take one at a time - I'm contemplating ignoring this advice, and kamikaze-chomping both of the little fuckers into booze-infused paste, but we shall see.
I like drinking now and then.
I enjoy pot slightly more often (and it keeps me from strangling dumbfucks).
Certain people (who shall remain nameless - ok, it's just one person) have told me in the past that my drinking & pot-use is classified as "abuse"...to which I reply a hearty "fuck you, you twat" (said ex-twat was also "straightedge" by definition, and we know how uptight & "holier-than-thou" some of those people can be - especially the reformed ones).
If it were truly "abuse", I wouldn't be able to go 24hrs without it & make it habitual, which isn't the case at all...and rehab is not for people who only occasionally drink or smoke herb(like, at all - because pot isn't anywhere as bad as hard drugs, and an "addiction" to it is kind of laughable).
Your argument is as retarded as you are.
Please wear a helmet when you ride your short-bus.
No music for you kids this time, as you got it earlier.
He brought me back a bottle of Mezcal - which I have never had...
 | |||
| Pictured: if heaven came in liquid form. |
After one shot, I noticed how smooth & delicious it was - it was like a thousand, big-breasted angels came explosive rainbows in my mouth, & it makes ordinary Tequila look like rancid urine in comparison. My friend had told me that he was informed that all you needed of this was 3 shots - I accepted that challenge (but worked up to it).
A couple of days later, me & another friend downed 2 shots apiece...it wasn't really enough to get a buzz off of.
A couple of days after that came the real test - I took 3 in quick succession of one another. Not feeling much more than a dim glow, I decided to continue on until I did.
6 shots (& 2 bowls of greenery) later, I found myself unconscious, but not before nature began mentally communicating with me - in all seriousness, shit was melting, which is fucking awesome for a liquor-related effect.
The next day, I chose to do it again, but took 7 shots and downed a 40oz of malt liquor on top of it.
I made a few phone calls, as I enjoy drunk-dialing (to friends who, it turns out, found my ranting to be humorous) and I once again found myself unconscious shortly afterwards.
"Mezcal" must be Spanish for "tasty, acid-like sleep-aid"...if it's not, it should be.
Apparently, I can be a right dick while alcohol works itself out of my system - not so much when I'm drunk, but more when I've been drinking the night before. Text-bombing a certain ex of mine with messages such as "so, when you two have sex, does it look like 2 pilates-balls being smashed together? You know - because you're both fat as fuck?" should be evidence of this (but I'm still willing to bet you laughed when you read it, you horrible fuckers).
At this point, I was left with the dilemma of how to get the following creatures of deliciousness out of the bottle, due to it having a pour-spout:
 |
| 2 of them - it's like they made this shit specifically so you tripped balls. |
This problem has been solved by removing the pour-spout by cutting it away, therefore keeping the bottle intact.
I have yet to down these little bastards, but I will update this post with the review once I have - possibly even during the effects, so you can all have a good laugh (even though you're not supposed to post shit online when you're drunk, but like I give a fuck - and none of you comment anyway, even though it'd give me a reason to post more).
Now, in this country, it is quite difficult to find booze with the worm still in it, let alone 2, which makes this experience a serious treat.
I was told to down the worm without chewing, and to only take one at a time - I'm contemplating ignoring this advice, and kamikaze-chomping both of the little fuckers into booze-infused paste, but we shall see.
I like drinking now and then.
I enjoy pot slightly more often (and it keeps me from strangling dumbfucks).
Certain people (who shall remain nameless - ok, it's just one person) have told me in the past that my drinking & pot-use is classified as "abuse"...to which I reply a hearty "fuck you, you twat" (said ex-twat was also "straightedge" by definition, and we know how uptight & "holier-than-thou" some of those people can be - especially the reformed ones).
If it were truly "abuse", I wouldn't be able to go 24hrs without it & make it habitual, which isn't the case at all...and rehab is not for people who only occasionally drink or smoke herb(like, at all - because pot isn't anywhere as bad as hard drugs, and an "addiction" to it is kind of laughable).
Your argument is as retarded as you are.
Please wear a helmet when you ride your short-bus.
No music for you kids this time, as you got it earlier.
Cram a chameleon (OR "Like a ghost, we all see right through you")
As my own life improves, I can't help but notice how utterly pathetic others can be sometimes.
There are plenty of people out there claiming to be happy & well-adjusted, but their words & actions tell a much different story - a story of desperation, self-loathing, & sadness.
They cover it by swearing up and down that they're happy, but it's nothing more than a cover for their truly shitty lives - those that have to make a full-on case that they're happy aren't only lying to everyone else, but they're lying to themselves, which is a big no-no.
Some have said that my words speak volumes about how UNHAPPY I am - this is a load of creamy crap, as I post what & how I do to entertain the rest of you...it has no bearing on my actual feelings (just like the content of this blog has no real bearing on the type of person I am offline) - feelings that have been excessively positive as of late (hence, less to bitch about here...which also means posts that aren't as entertaining to read as when I vent - if they come at all).
It's amusing to think that someone can assume they have you pegged through words on a screen (though, sometimes, people can be so transparent that you actually can). Keeping in mind that much of what is conveyed in text loses the emotion behind it, it would be quite easy to be given an improper impression of what was really meant. Case in point, if we're texting, and I say "I'm gonna kill you", one could easily assume I actually would, even though the tone it was meant in was a joking one.
I like to think I'm a good judge of character (even though past transgressions with others have proven that there are some damn fine actors/actresses out there), and as such, can usually see through bullshit - yet, people still insist on covering their true feelings, all the while assuming that nobody knows how they really feel.
Anyone with a trained eye can pick up on it, and if the person doing the cover-up knows, there's always a tell.
But I digress...
And now, somewhat related music:
Insane Clown Posse - Mr. Happy
http://www.sendspace.com/file/waamc1
Bloodhound Gang - I Hope You Die
http://www.sendspace.com/file/s76kk0
There are plenty of people out there claiming to be happy & well-adjusted, but their words & actions tell a much different story - a story of desperation, self-loathing, & sadness.
They cover it by swearing up and down that they're happy, but it's nothing more than a cover for their truly shitty lives - those that have to make a full-on case that they're happy aren't only lying to everyone else, but they're lying to themselves, which is a big no-no.
Some have said that my words speak volumes about how UNHAPPY I am - this is a load of creamy crap, as I post what & how I do to entertain the rest of you...it has no bearing on my actual feelings (just like the content of this blog has no real bearing on the type of person I am offline) - feelings that have been excessively positive as of late (hence, less to bitch about here...which also means posts that aren't as entertaining to read as when I vent - if they come at all).
It's amusing to think that someone can assume they have you pegged through words on a screen (though, sometimes, people can be so transparent that you actually can). Keeping in mind that much of what is conveyed in text loses the emotion behind it, it would be quite easy to be given an improper impression of what was really meant. Case in point, if we're texting, and I say "I'm gonna kill you", one could easily assume I actually would, even though the tone it was meant in was a joking one.
I like to think I'm a good judge of character (even though past transgressions with others have proven that there are some damn fine actors/actresses out there), and as such, can usually see through bullshit - yet, people still insist on covering their true feelings, all the while assuming that nobody knows how they really feel.
Anyone with a trained eye can pick up on it, and if the person doing the cover-up knows, there's always a tell.
But I digress...
And now, somewhat related music:
Limp Bizkit - Counterfeit
http://www.reality413.ru/files/03___counterfeit.mp3Digital Underground - Cyber Teeth Tigers
http://www.sendspace.com/file/4ngg7yInsane Clown Posse - Mr. Happy
http://www.sendspace.com/file/waamc1
Bloodhound Gang - I Hope You Die
http://www.sendspace.com/file/s76kk0
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Offs to fuck
Over the years, I have frequented a few websites for social networking and such.
I recently left one of the main sites I frequent, due to it being completely overrun with imbeciles, drugged-up children, & people from Kansas (which, some might claim, is all, exactly the same thing) .
It shall remain nameless, as it really doesn't deserve me sending it traffic, but a few of my keener readers will know exactly what blue-covered shithole I'm speaking about.
For years, I went to this site daily - it wasn't until the over-inflated, talking pilates-ball of a broad that I was dating dumped me (no real loss), where I truly realized I was surrounded by fools on that site.
Fake accounts, her Internet friends stalking me (she did it too), trash-talking randoms that had no business lurking my shit, etc. - I had had enough, and left.
This brings me to the following - at what point did the Internet become completely overrun with dipshits?
I say the answer is "at its conception" - it just spiralled out of control since then.
Now, many assholes (like myself) have blogs, and rant about how everything sucks, which is much better than having to hear it in real-time - you can close a web page...you can't always close their mouths (unless you carry duct-tape with you everywhere you go).
A better question would be: how is it that every illiterate dumbass & their family has access to a computer?
One would think that if you can't spell "computer", you shouldn't be operating one, let alone operating one on the Internet.
Then, we have the ever-popular (though, nobody has figured out why in some cases) "meme" - usually a bunch of meaningless & childish tripe forced down your virtual throat until you like it (or at least, tolerate it without strangling the fuckwad spouting it).
Memes are single-handedly making people retarded...more than usual, too.
Perhaps it's not the fault of the Internet at all...perhaps it's just my own view?
Perhaps the blurb right above this is some completely invalid bullshit...which seems most likely, given that I'm not the only one who shares this view.
I'd post music in this one, but I'm lazy today, so all you get is the rant...maybe later in the week.
I recently left one of the main sites I frequent, due to it being completely overrun with imbeciles, drugged-up children, & people from Kansas (which, some might claim, is all, exactly the same thing) .
It shall remain nameless, as it really doesn't deserve me sending it traffic, but a few of my keener readers will know exactly what blue-covered shithole I'm speaking about.
For years, I went to this site daily - it wasn't until the over-inflated, talking pilates-ball of a broad that I was dating dumped me (no real loss), where I truly realized I was surrounded by fools on that site.
Fake accounts, her Internet friends stalking me (she did it too), trash-talking randoms that had no business lurking my shit, etc. - I had had enough, and left.
This brings me to the following - at what point did the Internet become completely overrun with dipshits?
I say the answer is "at its conception" - it just spiralled out of control since then.
Now, many assholes (like myself) have blogs, and rant about how everything sucks, which is much better than having to hear it in real-time - you can close a web page...you can't always close their mouths (unless you carry duct-tape with you everywhere you go).
A better question would be: how is it that every illiterate dumbass & their family has access to a computer?
One would think that if you can't spell "computer", you shouldn't be operating one, let alone operating one on the Internet.
Then, we have the ever-popular (though, nobody has figured out why in some cases) "meme" - usually a bunch of meaningless & childish tripe forced down your virtual throat until you like it (or at least, tolerate it without strangling the fuckwad spouting it).
Memes are single-handedly making people retarded...more than usual, too.
Perhaps it's not the fault of the Internet at all...perhaps it's just my own view?
Perhaps the blurb right above this is some completely invalid bullshit...which seems most likely, given that I'm not the only one who shares this view.
I'd post music in this one, but I'm lazy today, so all you get is the rant...maybe later in the week.
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