Alcohol-powered cur

A good friend of mine recently returned from a trip to Mexico.
He brought me back a bottle of Mezcal - which I have never had...

Pictured: if heaven came in liquid form.

 

 

Mezcal, for those of you that don't know, is a lot like Tequila, only made from the agave cactus, which gives it a unique (not to mention orgasmically delicious) flavour.
After one shot, I noticed how smooth & delicious it was - it was like a thousand, big-breasted angels came explosive rainbows in my mouth, & it makes ordinary Tequila look like rancid urine in comparison. My friend had told me that he was informed that all you needed of this was 3 shots - I accepted that challenge (but worked up to it).

A couple of days later, me & another friend downed 2 shots apiece...it wasn't really enough to get a buzz off of.
A couple of days after that came the real test - I took 3 in quick succession of one another. Not feeling much more than a dim glow, I decided to continue on until I did.
6 shots (& 2 bowls of greenery) later, I found myself unconscious, but not before nature began mentally communicating with me - in all seriousness, shit was melting, which is fucking awesome for a liquor-related effect.

The next day, I chose to do it again, but took 7 shots and downed a 40oz of malt liquor on top of it.
I made a few phone calls, as I enjoy drunk-dialing (to friends who, it turns out, found my ranting to be humorous) and I once again found myself unconscious shortly afterwards.
"Mezcal" must be Spanish for "tasty, acid-like sleep-aid"...if it's not, it should be.

Apparently, I can be a right dick while alcohol works itself out of my system - not so much when I'm drunk, but more when I've been drinking the night before. Text-bombing a certain ex of mine with messages such as "so, when you two have sex, does it look like 2 pilates-balls being smashed together? You know - because you're both fat as fuck?" should be evidence of this (but I'm still willing to bet you laughed when you read it, you horrible fuckers).

At this point, I was left with the dilemma of how to get the following creatures of deliciousness out of the bottle, due to it having a pour-spout:

2 of them - it's like they made this shit specifically so you tripped balls.

This problem has been solved by removing the pour-spout by cutting it away, therefore keeping the bottle intact.
I have yet to down these little bastards, but I will update this post with the review once I have - possibly even during the effects, so you can all have a good laugh (even though you're not supposed to post shit online when you're drunk, but like I give a fuck - and none of you comment anyway, even though it'd give me a reason to post more).
Now, in this country, it is quite difficult to find booze with the worm still in it, let alone 2, which makes this experience a serious treat.
I was told to down the worm without chewing, and to only take one at a time - I'm contemplating ignoring this advice, and kamikaze-chomping both of the little fuckers into booze-infused paste, but we shall see.

I like drinking now and then.
I enjoy pot slightly more often (and it keeps me from strangling dumbfucks).
Certain people (who shall remain nameless - ok, it's just one person) have told me in the past that my drinking & pot-use is classified as "abuse"...to which I reply a hearty "fuck you, you twat" (said ex-twat was also "straightedge" by definition, and we know how uptight & "holier-than-thou" some of those people can be - especially the reformed ones).
If it were truly "abuse", I wouldn't be able to go 24hrs without it & make it habitual, which isn't the case at all...and rehab is not for people who only occasionally drink or smoke herb(like, at all - because pot isn't anywhere as bad as hard drugs, and an "addiction" to it is kind of laughable).
Your argument is as retarded as you are.
Please wear a helmet when you ride your short-bus.

No music for you kids this time, as you got it earlier.