I have a lot of things to talk about, but seeing as most of them are of a more personal nature, I have decided not to put any of that here.
I WILL, however, let all of you know that a video is coming for my track:

J_Digital - Give Them A Boot To The Head

http://soundcloud.com/j_digital/give-them-a-boot-to-the-head

So you might want to stay tuned and stuff.
Being Friday, it's time for a bit of music to tide you folks over until I actually have something interesting to say:

MC Lyte - Cappucino (Remix)

http://www.sendspace.com/file/th6cc7

Bloodhound Gang - Hell Yeah

http://www.sendspace.com/file/vs7l12

WutWudDubDo - Say It Ain't So

http://soundcloud.com/wwdd/say-it-aint-so

Enjoy, kids - I'll be back shortly with some new ramblings.

Get the money - dolla dolla bill, y'all

After much deliberation with friends, we have come up with a potentially award-winning idea for a sitcom.

It stars Jaleel White (Urkel) & Alphonso Ribiero (Carlton) as an "odd couple" working at the Large Hadron Collider - with hilarious results.
It's called "Right In The Dick".
All that's missing is a catchy theme-song...the rest just writes itself.

V.D. flares up

Yes, it's Valentine's Day - I suppose a "jaded" post of some sort is in order.
You think Christmas is bad? Hell no.
Valentine's is even worse when it comes to the cash-grab - it's the one day out of the year that is truly about greed. A day created under the guise of "love"...where you are made to feel guilty & inferior if you are alone, or didn't buy your loved one those flowers & chocolates they didn't need.

Also the idea of Cupid has always bothered me - just what you need in charge of making your love-connection: a blind, retarded toddler with a bow & arrows, shooting blindly at everything like a fucking Stormtrooper.
A Stormtrooper would be a more accurate symbol for today, as "love" always wears a mask, & clearly can't hit the blind side of a barn, either. Hippies would have you believe that "love is all you need"...I didn't see love building the fucking Death Star twice.
Wait - back to the fucking flying baby with advanced weaponry - I don't care if he's a "cherub", I don't want pre-school-looking children firing shit from a bow at my chest...that's grounds for slapping their fucking parents, at least.
I'm going to change all of the holiday-mascots in the same way, and I guarantee you you're not going to think it's too cute when a huge rabbit wielding a hockey-mask & machete comes to your house to jam a chocolate egg in your gullet (he always eats the ears first, too), or a Leprechaun...ends up in inner-city Compton acting all gangsta with his pot of gold...and Coolio's there for some reason...but you probably already saw that movie, so I digress.

In the spirit of the Hallmark holiday that celebrates "things slowly going downhill", here's some music that may or may not be relateable to today:

Sonic Youth - The Diamond Sea
http://www.sendspace.com/file/eqwlw1

Orbital - Halcyon & On & On
http://www.sendspace.com/file/qpyy6q

Bjork - All Is Full Of Love (Darkhalo Rmx)
http://www.sendspace.com/file/s25h34

Zeromancer - Send Me An Angel
http://www.sendspace.com/file/px8rmh

Jodeci (ft Tha Dogg Pound) - Come Up To My Room
http://www.sendspace.com/file/vlnwd6

The Cars - Just What I Needed (Titts Edit)

http://www.sendspace.com/file/amzynd

Digital Underground - Kiss You Back

http://www.sendspace.com/file/yillzz

LL Cool J - Around The Way Girl

http://www.sendspace.com/file/4hiz6z

C Rayz Walz & Kosha Dillz - I Love Jews
http://www.sendspace.com/file/w3m68r

Richard Cheese - Me So Horny

http://www.sendspace.com/file/sah8ti

Chunky A - Sorry
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ts2dds

Enjoy, kids.
May your V.D. be preventable & painless.

I'll TELL YOU when YOUR balls drop

I totally dropped the ball this week on keeping this fucking thing updated, but sometimes, the Internet has to deal with shit like that.

There hasn't been a whole lot to write about, aside from work I'm doing on the homestead, and nobody really gives a damn about that - you came here for a rant or music.
While I may not be able to give you the rant, I CAN give you the music, so here's a few to tide you over while I finish my shit here:

Tonegent - The Humpty Rapture

http://www.zshare.net/audio/5498116b864d0e

Gravediggaz - Diary Of A Madman

http://www.eyeswings.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/aMadman.mp3

The Dismasters - Small Time Hustler (Instrumental)

http://www.sendspace.com/file/ayn618

DJ X - Use Your Luv (12" Mix Show) [The Outfield]

http://www.sendspace.com/file/2hvef2

Since this whole post is a substitute due to a loss of words:

The Ramones - Got Alot To Say

http://www.sendspace.com/file/z29o4e

Enjoy, kids.

Plenty of fish in the sea - but that sea is toxic as fuck

So, I recently checked out http://www.plentyoffish.com for something to do.
JESUS H CHRIST, MY FUCKING EYES ARE BLEEDING.
They call it "Plenty Of Fish", but neglect to tell you that the majority of said fish are gnarled muskies, battle-hardened gobies, & nuclear-fallout mutants. I haven't seen so many beastly visages since Clash Of The Titans (which was a monsterous piece of shit itself), and even the broads in that flick were sexier than what I witnessed on this site.
I swear, in my travels on that site, I came across ManBearPig about 50 separate times...one would think it'd only have one account, but no. For a dating site, it's certainly scraping the bottom of the barrel, and I don't think I'll ever be quite THAT desperate. Even if I was horribly disfigured in some sort of brutal, industrial accident (but I'd probably fit in better then).
There is the occasional cute user, but when that ratio is somewhere in the 1:100 range, it's just plain scary.
I'm sure I will be plagued by nightmares for weeks to come.

Now, I may not be easy on the eyes, but I'd like to think that I have it better than most there.
I'm not shallow by any stretch of the imagination (those of you that have seen my exes can testify to such things), but I do believe that there's a limit to the type of person you should be dating.
For example, I look like fucking Curly,  and I should be dating women that are within my grasp to date - therefore, it is somewhat unrealistic for me to go after someone that has looks like Jessica Alba. You should date within reason. However, looking like Curly, I should also not be approached by women that resemble something from a zoo near Chernobyl, because that's aiming far too low.
I'm sure you can see my point here.

Anyway, this site is good for killing time, a few chats, laughs & shudders, and MAYBE finding someone if your standards have been shot all to hell, and you feel like you couldn't date anything human.
Other than these things, though, it doesn't have very much to offer, and I wouldn't waste your time if I were you.
Just sayin'.

Now, this:

Adam Sandler & Jack Nicholson - I Feel Pretty

http://oblivion.th3rm.com/I%20Feel%20Pretty.mp3

Playing with myself

As a semi-regular Friday-feature, I have decided to share a bunch of music with you.
So, I bring to you a "new" track from myself. I say "new" in quotations as some have already been privy to it in its rough form:

J_Digital - In My Pants (a phone & a DS) [rough draft]

http://soundcloud.com/j_digital/j-digital-in-my-pants-a-phone

Next off, a track from Green Day's album "Dookie" (the second track within this track, as it's totally relevant to the title of this post)

Green Day - F.O.D. /All By Myself

http://ventsi.com/Music/Green%20Day%20(10)/(1994)%20Dookie/14%20F.O.D._All%20By%20Myself.mp3

Future posts will be more varied track-wise.
Enjoy, kids!

Drawn & quartered

Not only is he an awesome guy, a good friend, a fantastic DJ, and a kickass producer - but he's a talented artist as well:

http://dumbdrawings.tumblr.com

Visit that and give my bro some props.
That is all.

Skanks for the memories

Throughout my life, I have dated some very questionable girls. Not "questionable" in the "dirty whore" sense (though,there were a few of those, too...but one could hardly call that "dating"), but in the "this girl is fucking crazy" sense (there were MANY of these).
Most were a lot like tampons, in that they were stuck up cunts. Unlike tampons, few were as useful, and most weren't as fresh.

The last such encounter, was with a girl I recently broke up with.
When I say "broke up with", I of course mean "bitch dumped my ass on Christmas eve".
Said girl (and she was a "girl" - way too young for me) was insane, and severely flawed - let me count the ways:
* her personality shifted depending on who she was hanging out with at the time
* "loved" me after a week (this should have been a huge warning sign, but I can be pretty blind sometimes)
* was a kleptomaniac (stole everything - including part of my wardrobe)
* changed her mind more frequently than her underwear
* was obese (not that this was an issue, but there's a limit - especially when you can't walk 2 blocks without bitching), and didn't really care about her health
* had obsession & clinginess issues (frequently cyber-stalked my female friends for no reason other than I knew them)
* lived 700+km away from me
* had no real life ambitions, yet shit all over mine
* was book-smart, but not SMART-smart
* frequently wasted my time, but got mad when I wasted hers
* hated on my friends (they don't know just how much)
* talked shit to everyone, about everyone
* was racist (made Hitler look like a genuinely nice guy)



Just the tip of the iceberg, but I digress.
I honestly don't know what I saw in that girl now, but when this happened, I was quite broken up about it until recently. I tried to be civil with her & save a friendship (as I usually do), but her personality had shifted to that of a complete bitch, so this wasn't happening.
I decided it was best to just remove all memory of her, and act like the past year of my life never happened, thus saving myself from having to kill her and her new ginger boyfriend (gingers being a topic I will deal with later, so save the hate-mail for when that happens).

The one before this wasn't "whole" (she was missing a limb, and apparently, 90% of her brain), and cheated on me with 2 guys that banged one another.
The one before that told me she loved me, then married another dude a week after we broke up.
The one before that just screwed my friends behind my back.

Apparently, I have a real problem picking "winners".
I suppose it's the kind of ladies I find myself going after, or are attracted to me, so that's (mostly) on me.
I don't know what I did to deserve such shitty karma, but my guess is it revolves around my teenage years (again, another topic for another day).

Since it is a new year, and I am once again single, I am back to dating.
The girl I recently started "casually seeing" is leaps and bounds away from the type of girl I usually end up with (a good thing), but is proving a difficult one to get close enough to to build more on things.
This is causing a lot of unnecessary drama, as any time she learns something new about me, she tends to pull away.
Women are really confusing sometimes.
I really hope she's worth the fight (she's hoping the same thing)

I suppose I should just work on my own shit, and leave the dating on the sidelines for a little while, but being a social person (and a hopeless romantic), I despise sleeping & doing/experiencing things alone.
Apparently, I will never learn - but at least I won't be doing it by myself.

I can't believe I started a fucking "blog"

Hell hath frozen over.

 Despite my better judgement, I have started a "blog" - this fucking thing...with an all-encompassing title that everybody can get behind (at one point or another).
 I have been fervently against doing this ever since the word "blog" came into common usage on the Internet...mainly due to the fact that every whiny douchebag and his friends seems to have one.
 Now I am grouped in with said whiny douchebags, as I have jumped on the bandwagon. However, unlike the other douchebags, my blog won't be filled with a bunch of pointless crap from the point of view of some emo dick (even though I've been known to have my moments, I'll try to keep it off of here).

I suppose I should take a minute to introduce myself.
My name is J.
 I am 34 years old, currently unemployed & living in the middle of nowhere with nothing but free time. I am a parent, a musician/artist, and at times, a complete bastard (in every sense of the word).
 I like many things, but dislike just as many, and am not above speaking my mind in a "colourful" (yet entertaining) manner. I'm trying to be more positive, so I created this thing to spout the negative crap out of my life and onto the Internet (where it apparently belongs).
 I am also Canadian, so don't go messaging me & bitching about me adding a "u" to words like "colour". Speaking of spelling, I may occasionally disagree with the spell-check here telling me to split words that clearly look better as one, single word (like "douchebag", "dipshit", etc.).

 I must take a moment to warn you all that some of what you will read here may be offensive if you're overly sensitive and can't take things lightly, so that I don't get flooded with a bunch of dipshit responses by "politically correct" folks with a bone to pick (out of their ass, as it's feeding the bug up there). Opinions are like assholes, as the saying goes.

 From this point on, you can look forward to a bunch of random crap that I've found on the Internet, music(my own, because I believe in the "cheap pop", as well as shit I like from people who aren't me), bitching & ranting from my personal point of view (because it wouldn't be a true "blog" without it) & other bullshit not fit for reading by any reasonably sane person (but really, who is "reasonably sane" in this day and age?).

Seeing as this is the first post here, and I've already covered the basics, you can now go forth and download/listen to some of my free album/music releases (while you still can, as I'll probably be selling them from now on, if anyone will pay me for it) over at http://www.soundcloud.com/j_digital - a good rule-of-thumb is to not judge the music based on your opinion of who made it.

As I always say everywhere else that I frequent on the information highway: stay tuned, kids.