You can't handle the tooth

I have a front tooth with a shitty cap on it, as some of you may have noticed.
A couple of weeks ago, it finally fell off after 15 years - it had a good run...but I wasn't about to walk around with a busted front, and talk like some dipshit, so I super-glued the fucker back on.
Today, while out for lunch at Arby's (insert "that shit totally looks like vagina" joke here - even though I had the chicken-bacon-swiss), the little bastard fell off again.

I made a b-line for the nearest dentist, as this should qualify as an "emergency". I was told that they couldn't do a damn thing for about 2 weeks - by 2 separate places, due to bookings. Apparently, the word "emergency" has lost all sense of urgency in this world.

Thankfully, there's super-glue, and it is back on once again...hopefully, it holds for another 2 weeks - just long enough for the dental community to get the dick out of their asses and fix it for me (along with the rest of my horrendous-ass mouth).
 You'd think they'd jump at the opportunity to be able to add another story to their house, seeing as even the smallest and most simple dental procedure brings them the equivalent of a month's salary of the average person (usually more than that).
 I feel like the word "dentist" should be replaced in the English lexicon by the phrase "professional wallet-rapist in the field of sadistic oral repair". I'm sure the only reason it hasn't is because it's too long to be used in casual conversation. Well, that, and the fact that it's pretty much implied any time anyone uses the word "dentist".

And now, totally related music:

Steve Martin - Dentist (from Little Shop Of Horrors)
http://www.sendspace.com/file/eg7is4

Weird Al Yankovic - Cavity Search
http://www.sendspace.com/file/wyfgs4

Blind Melon - Mouthful Of Cavities
http://www.sendspace.com/file/xasnzc

Of course, no trip to the professional wallet-rapist in the field of sadistic oral repair would be complete without what passes for "muzak", so here you go (feel free to picture the sound of a high-pitched dental-drill over top of these for added effect):

Herb Alpert And The Tijuana Brass - Spanish Flea
http://www.sendspace.com/file/6e378q

Al Hirt - Java (Instrumental)
http://www.sendspace.com/file/calu2c

Enjoy, kids - more to come later...and, of course, happy 420.

News-Flush

You people should probably be aware that I don't watch the news.
Every time I do, it's ALWAYS the same shit - car crash, dead/murdered people (and the cops have their thumbs up their asses), some bullshit about politicians that can suck my dick, and a bunch of pointless filler. Oh, and the weather report, which is usually right up there in accuracy with a reading from fucking Miss Cleo.
I just really don't give a shit about what's going on - I'm happier not knowing.

Tonight was the first time in 4 months I have turned on the news - I haven't missed a DAMN THING: dead broads (cops with their thumbs up their asses), a "controversial" royal wedding (Who cares? Let the fucking guy marry a commoner - are we not past this monarchy bullshit anyway?), Charlie Sheen (the only "news story" that is anywhere near "entertaining" - and that's stretching it), Hydro rates going up (you get a discount, but then a HUGE ass-raping to make up for it), Liberals & Conservatives in a race to see who can suck the most voter cock (BTW - if you're Canadian and DON'T vote NDP this time, I'm coming to your house to stab you in the crotch until you bleed out & die - it's about fucking time we had some REAL goddamn change in this fucking country, and his name is JACK LAYTON - learn it, live it, vote it), and, of course, a weather report which the douchebag obviously pulled out of his ass, and will probably change by the 11pm news.

I now realize WHY I don't watch the news: I DON'T CARE & IT JUST PISSES ME OFF.
It doesn't even have to try...it has always rubbed me the wrong way.
None of these stories are worth getting angry over, yet, even knowing that there is anything going on outside of my own world is cause for me to rant, because I'm a self-centered prick who doesn't give a fuck about the world's ills - I have my own life to worry about, thanks. 

All of 2 things should EVER be news, and everything else is just filler:
1) The world is ending, shit is blowing up, and we're all going to die
2) Warning: THERE ARE FUCKING ZOMBIES
Stop reporting anything else - it's not news, and only the brain-dead (and elderly) care.


Music coming in the next post, because obviously I'm too irritated to bother this time.

Huge waste of bandwidth

I really haven't had much interesting to talk about over the past couple of weeks - at least, nothing I would want to share on a public blog - and ranting has subsided greatly..
Significantly less has been pissing me off lately (probably because I am sans-Ohio-bitch & her negative bullshit, and plus an awesome new chick, who does nothing but build me up & make me happy - a word which isn't usually in my vocabulary), and I am left to update this blog with mindless, meaningless drivel to keep traffic here alive to feed my already massive ego...drivel which, apparently, still garners mass amounts of hits, and this confuses me.

Hence the blog's title - you folks clearly give too much of a shit about nothing, which is apparent by the traffic this blog gets - updates or not.
I fail to see what is so interesting about this blog, as it doesn't have much to offer as of late. It's not like I'm going to be winning a fucking Pulitzer for writing this bullshit, either.
Perhaps I should put in some ads to cash in on the reads which come from nowhere?
It certainly couldn't hurt my wallet, but might hurt your eyes, which is why I haven't yet - don't go thinking I care, because I don't...I'm just like you, and hate ads as much as the rest of you.
Still, not a bad idea for the future...donations are also welcome, because who doesn't like free money?
If you're willing to hand it out, I'm willing to accept it.

I leave you all with the following advice:
Go outside, get some sun, exercise, & fresh air, and stop wasting your lives behind a screen.
Your life will thank you for it.

Not even music this time - I'm that unmotivated on this infernal machine...more to come eventually.