You can't handle the tooth

I have a front tooth with a shitty cap on it, as some of you may have noticed.
A couple of weeks ago, it finally fell off after 15 years - it had a good run...but I wasn't about to walk around with a busted front, and talk like some dipshit, so I super-glued the fucker back on.
Today, while out for lunch at Arby's (insert "that shit totally looks like vagina" joke here - even though I had the chicken-bacon-swiss), the little bastard fell off again.

I made a b-line for the nearest dentist, as this should qualify as an "emergency". I was told that they couldn't do a damn thing for about 2 weeks - by 2 separate places, due to bookings. Apparently, the word "emergency" has lost all sense of urgency in this world.

Thankfully, there's super-glue, and it is back on once again...hopefully, it holds for another 2 weeks - just long enough for the dental community to get the dick out of their asses and fix it for me (along with the rest of my horrendous-ass mouth).
 You'd think they'd jump at the opportunity to be able to add another story to their house, seeing as even the smallest and most simple dental procedure brings them the equivalent of a month's salary of the average person (usually more than that).
 I feel like the word "dentist" should be replaced in the English lexicon by the phrase "professional wallet-rapist in the field of sadistic oral repair". I'm sure the only reason it hasn't is because it's too long to be used in casual conversation. Well, that, and the fact that it's pretty much implied any time anyone uses the word "dentist".

And now, totally related music:

Steve Martin - Dentist (from Little Shop Of Horrors)
http://www.sendspace.com/file/eg7is4

Weird Al Yankovic - Cavity Search
http://www.sendspace.com/file/wyfgs4

Blind Melon - Mouthful Of Cavities
http://www.sendspace.com/file/xasnzc

Of course, no trip to the professional wallet-rapist in the field of sadistic oral repair would be complete without what passes for "muzak", so here you go (feel free to picture the sound of a high-pitched dental-drill over top of these for added effect):

Herb Alpert And The Tijuana Brass - Spanish Flea
http://www.sendspace.com/file/6e378q

Al Hirt - Java (Instrumental)
http://www.sendspace.com/file/calu2c

Enjoy, kids - more to come later...and, of course, happy 420.